When "I'm sorry" is too late
Wow. It's the 19th. The 11th flew by and I never noticed. It took me about half the day two weeks ago on Sunday to realize that it was the 11th. When I finally did, I got mad at myself. How could I let it get by me? I wasn't hit so hard by it, in fact, I shrugged it off. I did realize the scale of the matter but I wouldn't let myself get caught grieving over people I never knew. It was about 4 days afterword when it hit me. My Dad is a civil engineer, he had a shot at a big break by building a new NY Stock Exchange. That chance was immediately blown off for priorities. The day of the attacks, it was a miracle that he got out of the city. He picked up my cousin at school and a random person who happened to live somewhat nearby. He started working 12 hour days and I rarely saw him. When I did, he was beat tired and very upset. The car he used was covered in debris and smelt of asbestos. Of course as his shifts changed and he got transfered into a new job site, I gradually forgot about it. While I know there will always be a place in my heart for that, humankind needs to forget to a certain degree in order to progress. Well, I figured I'd get a fraction of my story out there. Everyone has their own to share.
[Don't forget, but move on]
Monday, September 19, 2005
Thursday, September 08, 2005
The Starting Gun
And they're off. School is back and I'm off and running. Even more so than I have been in the previous years. I wasn't even 10:00 and I was carrying around a stack of books as heavy as myself. I'm beginning with the best intentions, as I begin every year, but this time, I'm more confident. Maybe Nick was right, the summer between Sophmore and Junior year holds the most changes. I hope so. But back to the school events. The speed in which we started this year was ungodly fast. It's the first day of school and I already know what our spring musical is. It usually is a secret until late November. Well, all in all, I have a pretty positive outlook on this year. More musings (and sketches) to come as life inspires them. Should be along any minute now.
And they're off. School is back and I'm off and running. Even more so than I have been in the previous years. I wasn't even 10:00 and I was carrying around a stack of books as heavy as myself. I'm beginning with the best intentions, as I begin every year, but this time, I'm more confident. Maybe Nick was right, the summer between Sophmore and Junior year holds the most changes. I hope so. But back to the school events. The speed in which we started this year was ungodly fast. It's the first day of school and I already know what our spring musical is. It usually is a secret until late November. Well, all in all, I have a pretty positive outlook on this year. More musings (and sketches) to come as life inspires them. Should be along any minute now.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
My Social Position
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have no other material so I'm going to write about the condition of my social life that put me here in blogger-catharsis. It all has to do with my "friends". I put that in quotation marks because I'm no longer sure who falls under that category. I have divided my friends into two groups, each with its own sub-groups.
The first group, and probably most great in number, is my theatre "friends". These are the fine men and women that I have happily (for the most part) taken part in my school's musical production with. (A handful, coughindiekidcough, actually read this blog) For the past two years I have felt accepted and rejected at the same time by these people. Some you can call phony and cynical, these are more the nodding acquaintances of the group (coughkristencough). As soon as I found myself among the theatre nerds, I subconciously found myself trying to win their approval. I (apparently) certainly wasn't taking drastic measures (hence, subconciously) but I was criticized for it. I was (almost blatantly) shunned by people I thought were friends and in trying to find out why, I came off as too forthcoming or clingy, thus pushing them away further. (Those are my conclusions)
There are three sub-groups of the drama nerds.
Group 1: Talented, Well-known, Leads (In most of the shows) Pretty nice people, easy to get along with.
Group 2: The guys along for the ride. These guys seem like the accidentally showed up for auditions and made it. Fun-loving, good-natured guys who are the easiest to get along with. They don't exactly take the shows seriously, but they certainly make the experience more enjoyable.
Group 3: These guys are in between. Also decent people, but emotionally unstable. In trying to make the transfer from group 2 to group 1, the social scene becomes like business, relationships become acquistions. ::Bleh, you guys think too much::
My other friends are closer, due to the fact that these are the people that I spend the most of my schooldays with. They all happen to be Filipino, it was completely random (so sue me). Because of that I was criticized, as well. (That is why my profile says that I feel my character is under assault.) Each member of the Pnoy group is very different.
The silent but deadly: Mark
The eccentric and fun-loving (to a fault): Lester
The not-so-isolated Azn: Ken
The Samurai: Lindell
These are the ones that share in my anime/manga fandom.
While all these obsvervation were made by myself, the insider, I felt that they were made by an outsider who can see situations clearly without emotions clouding the lens. Well, whatever. This is the center of my social trouble that I'm trying to cure. So I finally got it out.
Feedback. Please
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have no other material so I'm going to write about the condition of my social life that put me here in blogger-catharsis. It all has to do with my "friends". I put that in quotation marks because I'm no longer sure who falls under that category. I have divided my friends into two groups, each with its own sub-groups.
The first group, and probably most great in number, is my theatre "friends". These are the fine men and women that I have happily (for the most part) taken part in my school's musical production with. (A handful, coughindiekidcough, actually read this blog) For the past two years I have felt accepted and rejected at the same time by these people. Some you can call phony and cynical, these are more the nodding acquaintances of the group (coughkristencough). As soon as I found myself among the theatre nerds, I subconciously found myself trying to win their approval. I (apparently) certainly wasn't taking drastic measures (hence, subconciously) but I was criticized for it. I was (almost blatantly) shunned by people I thought were friends and in trying to find out why, I came off as too forthcoming or clingy, thus pushing them away further. (Those are my conclusions)
There are three sub-groups of the drama nerds.
Group 1: Talented, Well-known, Leads (In most of the shows) Pretty nice people, easy to get along with.
Group 2: The guys along for the ride. These guys seem like the accidentally showed up for auditions and made it. Fun-loving, good-natured guys who are the easiest to get along with. They don't exactly take the shows seriously, but they certainly make the experience more enjoyable.
Group 3: These guys are in between. Also decent people, but emotionally unstable. In trying to make the transfer from group 2 to group 1, the social scene becomes like business, relationships become acquistions. ::Bleh, you guys think too much::
My other friends are closer, due to the fact that these are the people that I spend the most of my schooldays with. They all happen to be Filipino, it was completely random (so sue me). Because of that I was criticized, as well. (That is why my profile says that I feel my character is under assault.) Each member of the Pnoy group is very different.
The silent but deadly: Mark
The eccentric and fun-loving (to a fault): Lester
The not-so-isolated Azn: Ken
The Samurai: Lindell
These are the ones that share in my anime/manga fandom.
While all these obsvervation were made by myself, the insider, I felt that they were made by an outsider who can see situations clearly without emotions clouding the lens. Well, whatever. This is the center of my social trouble that I'm trying to cure. So I finally got it out.
Feedback. Please
Friday, September 02, 2005
Drink Up, Javaheads
I'm doing this project for the AP English Language class that I'm entering next week. It has kept me occupied (and driven me crazy) for a good amount of the summer, but I know it's for my own good and literary well-being. (Plus, the teacher, who may come off as boring, is a pretty cool guy.) I have to find 5 articles a week, summarize them, and give a reaction. (In one paragraph) I stumble across some interesting articles, and recently (yesterday, in fact) I found one about the benefits of coffee.
I'm not much of a coffee drinker. I can handle strong stuff, but that doesn't mean I like it. But I might start drinking more, though. Studys show that coffee contains by far the most antioxidants than any other food product. Antioxidants are known to help prevent certain types of cancer and are also good for skincare and whatnot. Hey, if it helps my chances against cancer and helps maintain baby-soft skin, what the hell, down the hatch. But besides the health benefits, I think coffee helps me think clearer. Although I might get jitters when I drink it with an empty stomach, I find that those times are the when I have the most clarity. To any of those who actually read this, I want your opinion. Also I have another question of dire importance:
Q: If 1 pirate were to face 1 ninja in a fight to the death, who would win?
(My)A: Ninja (although my name is Ironpirate) I'll give you yhe logic behind my answer when I get some feedback.
I'm doing this project for the AP English Language class that I'm entering next week. It has kept me occupied (and driven me crazy) for a good amount of the summer, but I know it's for my own good and literary well-being. (Plus, the teacher, who may come off as boring, is a pretty cool guy.) I have to find 5 articles a week, summarize them, and give a reaction. (In one paragraph) I stumble across some interesting articles, and recently (yesterday, in fact) I found one about the benefits of coffee.
I'm not much of a coffee drinker. I can handle strong stuff, but that doesn't mean I like it. But I might start drinking more, though. Studys show that coffee contains by far the most antioxidants than any other food product. Antioxidants are known to help prevent certain types of cancer and are also good for skincare and whatnot. Hey, if it helps my chances against cancer and helps maintain baby-soft skin, what the hell, down the hatch. But besides the health benefits, I think coffee helps me think clearer. Although I might get jitters when I drink it with an empty stomach, I find that those times are the when I have the most clarity. To any of those who actually read this, I want your opinion. Also I have another question of dire importance:
Q: If 1 pirate were to face 1 ninja in a fight to the death, who would win?
(My)A: Ninja (although my name is Ironpirate) I'll give you yhe logic behind my answer when I get some feedback.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
