Monday, October 17, 2005

Now I Know Where I Belong

(Damn you Indiekid and your catchy music suggestions, Oh and Happy Birthday MJ and Yanns)
My social postion has changed since I last posted regarding my friends. When I decided to do this fall show, I was unaware of how the social environment of my friends and acquaintances would be. I've been told that the summer between Sophmore and Junior years holds the most subtle changes multiple times, and last weekend I discovered that it was true. For the past few years I was unsure of where to place myself among my larger group of friends, the theatre group. I often felt rejected and specifically left out of the loop. But I think I have the right idea, it was me who put myself on the outside and I am now taking the measures to fix this. I was unsure of who I was (and I still am but I have a better idea). To this day, I can't look at myself in the eyes in the mirror for too long. I also keep my hand in my pockets and my arms folded as a posture of security. I also used to walk with my head fixed at the ground, that has changed and I'm trying to keep eye contact. The reactions I've observed after doing this has made me feel very comfortable with my friends (The height of the realization occurred on Saturday). I look at all these people and I realize that there is something special there. If there was one thing that I could wish for my friends as a whole is that I could stand in front of them all and say "Everything will always be alright, live, love, and laugh." I hope that things will always be that way.

[G'Night.]

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Update, Because you know you want it.

I know that it has been a while, so I decided to change some stuff around. First of all, I got a new template, even though it's a standard kinda deal. I won't feel complete unless I actually make my own template. I also plan to get rid of my big sketch post way down the bottom of the screen. (That thing was a gigantic mess.) I have a few things to say, but I quickly forget them, so I need a few days to get my next (and maybe my first) big rant in order. I don't really have time to write much, as always. I'm off to the Martial Arts in a few. (If it hasn't been flooded)

More musings later, if my attention span has nothing to do with it.